11 January 2013

That old man

Was outside my house just now waiting for my mom to come out when I saw an Indian old man.
I looked away and looked at him back and looked away again.
When he was about 2 metres away from me, he asked me "sudah makan ah?"
I just nod but wasn't looking at him so he asked again probably because he didn't see it.
I just nod again without looking at him and he didn't say anything else.
4 micro seconds later I regretted my action and thought I should have looked at him and answer properly and smile at this old man.

I used to smile at everyone, strangers including.
One of my friend asked, "why you keep smiling to everyone?"
But as I grew older and started listening to all these misfortunes of others, I closed myself and only smiled to strangers occasionally.
I just wish, that I still own that naiveness and be able to smile at others and enjoy the joy of getting a smile in return.
And I really want to remove this sense of caution and that alertness and fear I have whenever a stranger approaches.
But then again, why would you let your guard down even for a second when it could cause you harm for a lifetime.

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