28 November 2015

My progress

Posted this on the 8th of April 2013.

"My first half marathon and it took me 2 hours 50 minutes and 10 seconds. 
I believe I can go faster, so next time, I'll be more disciplined in my training and do my best. 
I would definitely want to join the full marathon before I'm 23. 

So what's my plan?
Okay, this, I have to FIND TIME."

Hmm, so I will be 23 in a month time and a full marathon is the first in my "never-to-do" list. I've stopped running and jogging for almost a year. It all started when I sprained my ankle one day and the doctor told me to take a rest because my kneecap was not in a good condition too. I tried jogging but it hurts so much that I cried. Just kidding, I'm just freaking lazy ever since I moved out. It's like a boyfriend with a high potential of being a husband but in the end he became an ex (Analogy 101 :x). I did join Muay Thai though it only lasted for 2 months. But I stopped with a very good excuse, I had go to Sarawak and the Muay Thai classes here are so expensive that if I were to join, I would have to eat my own sweat.

Gawdddd, Theola, just start jogging again already!

20 November 2015

When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band

          It’s crazy how fast things have changed. I live every year thinking that there are not much changes in my life and I’m still mundanely living (this is still true), but once in a while when I look back at memorabilia, I kind of get shocked by the person I am now and at times, scared of my current behaviour and thinking. My past struggles seem so distant and well solved that I miss them. Miss that I was living a different set of struggles, different kind of obsessions, and find joy in different things. Is this the results of being old? I know at 22 I’m still young and there’s a whole different world out there waiting for me, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve lived for quite some time. Not that I want to die soon or anything. I remember sitting down on that hot, dirty pavement at the assembly area during standard 6, contemplating life as an adult. It’s true, when you’re younger, you think that when you reach a certain age you’ll figure everything out and be wise and Zen and all that. Then you reach that age and realise you still feel like a child, that you have not figured any shit out. I want change, but at the same time I’m afraid of change. Recently I tried joining my university’s debate society to get rid of my stage fright and to basically bring “changes” in my life and mannnn, it is awkward. I’m not sure what kind of change I hope to achieve by joining, but it’s better than me being glued to the screen.

          It’s funny too how I used to think I hold strongly to my beliefs, things I find right or wrong, and the kind of decisions I will make will hardly change even if I were to be in different places or situations. Until I decided to study social science. Studying social science has certainly screwed up my life. Damn, I don’t even know what to think anymore. It’s like when people ask you what you want to eat and you can’t decide, but you’re sure you don’t want to eat the things they suggested. I wish I was lucky enough to be born privileged in life, to do things that I wouldn’t be able to do in my current state. I want to chase after wealth, fame (lolol just kidding), and materials because those are the things that will make me “happy” in life (don’t lie, I know you want it too). I also realised I don’t mind living in my current state, that all these wishful thinking is based on what my society constructed and so I’ll just continue living like that (told you I’m screwed). I’m always wondering how different my life would be if things were to be like this or that. To be honest, half of my life is spent day dreaming of things I hope for, like that cute guy in school heheh. But all is good. The only things that scare me these days are (not in hierarchical order):

  1.          Deadlines 
  2.          Exams
  3.          People around me being harmed
  4.          Ghosts
  5.          Not being able to shit at home when I really need to shit
  6.          Being a horrible person

Other than that I’m quite fine with things.
Hahaha I don’t know what’s the point of this post too. I just hope you’re happy, I’m happy, we are happy! Okay, bye.

30 October 2015

T's Puah

Tybalt: Hohoho
Travis: Your head kena knock by tyre is it?
Travis: Forgot how to spell your name?
Tybalt: Wrong meh?
Theola: Like ah beng
Tybalt: Ya ka
Theola: Make one for me also
Tybalt: Eh fatty you can wear bo?
Theola: Which fatty?
Tybalt: You la ��
Theola: Yayyy can. Is it mine?
Tybalt: The ah beng one is yours
Theola: YAYYYYY see the back
Tybalt: Empty la
Theola: -____- whyy
Theola: (middle finger emoji)
Tybalt: Wakakaka mummy said the t shirt can't fit you
Theola: You wear and see. If you can fit I can
Tybalt: Tried la,  can't ����
Theola: Omgggg
Tybalt: Who asked you to eat so much
Theola: Wtf why you buy so small
Theola: This t shirt ka? My boyfriend also wearing  

23 April 2015

How to Make a Chocolate Cake

When I was young, I got tricked by my cousin. The story goes like this...

I was playing outside with my brothers when my cousin came back home. She was my neighbour then. The moment she got out of the car she asked me, "you want to eat chocolate cake ma?" and went inside without waiting for my reply. Being a kid, of course I was excited upon realizing the prospect of me getting a chocolate cake without asking so I followed her in. I went to the kitchen to find her but realized she was in the toilet so I waited patiently for her to come out. I mean, chocolate cake is worth the wait right?! She took quite a while to come out but it's okay, at least she's out. But, after coming out she didn't offer me any chocolate cake. I was and still am a good kid, so I didn't ask her thinking she momentarily forgot. However, the good kid in me disappeared after 10 minutes caused I asked, "I thought you said you wanna give me chocolate cake?" and she replied, "the chocolate cake in the toilet bowl you go eat la." 

That my dear friends, is how I came to know how to make a chocolate cake.

15 February 2015

Shit Things my Brother Says.

After a heavy and fulfilling meal.

Me: Wah, so full can feel the layers forming on my stomach, like the pork we ate.
Tybalt: Glad that you know.


Tybalt: Fat la you.
Me: Fabulous body please.
Tybalt: Don't use that F word on me. 



After losing 4 kgs in a week.

Tybalt: Jie, I'm going to be the same weight as you already.

30 January 2015

You May Say I'm a Dreamer, but I'm Not the Only One.

I'm bringing dreams to a whole new level. Dreamt of something quite significant and while I was still dreaming, I told myself to find out the meaning behind it when I wake up. Something happened today. Nothing major but honestly, this adds to the stack of problems we already have and gawd is it shitty. Murphy's Law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Anyways, I tried to figure out the meaning and there's too many interpretations. Probably cause my dream had many meanings to it. I sometimes have recurring dreams and always wondered why but never had the initiative to find out its meaning. There was this dream that I had for many years since young and I wish I figured out the meaning sooner. It wasn't until I stopped dreaming about it that I understood why.

Okay, I'm just going to leave this hanging. Goodbye.

19 December 2014

After a while, you don't ask "what's wrong?" anymore,
You just stop asking altogether.

07 December 2014

Am I racist?

     Before the fall of Suharto, the constitution of Indonesia is such that Indonesians are only allowed "Indonesian names" regardless of ethnic groups. This is arguably to foster nationalism, unity and reduce racism. But to what extend is this method really successful and applicable to a multiracial country? If the same law was to be implemented in Malaysia, will people be against it or with it? I once had a conversation with two juniors. Both are children from mixed marriages and they believe that people shouldn't be labelled according to their "races" and that if races were to continue, what "race" are they? The point they tried to get across to me was that they are against racism. When we spoke of the condition in Indonesia i.e. the implementation of Indonesian names, they were very passionate about it and said that it was the best way since no one is categorized. I tried to reason with them whether that is truly the best way. My argument was that we all have our distinctive and unique culture and by forcing people to use a certain kind of name alone would not reduce racism. Whose names are we supposed to follow? The Malays? The Chinese? The Indians? Or the natives?

     I am not saying that what Indonesia is doing is wrong but that there are always two sides to a coin. Yes, it may foster nationalism. But what about the culture of the people that is being jeopardized? I definitely would not want anyone or any group to force me to do something that I don't want to. Like the Hudud Law, but that is another thing altogether. I wasn't trying to force them to agree to my opinion, I was just trying to make them look at other aspects. My juniors either could not understand my argument or they refused to listen as they kept supporting the Indonesian way (in a very scary and obsessive manner). I think they were trying to label me a racist indirectly because they kept saying things like "I'm so glad I found a likeminded person", "happy to know someone is against racism", "I'm very passionate bla bla bla" to each other. I gave up after a while because they refused to listen to my logic. So, I said in my mind, "ahhh, fuck off" and kept quiet.

 P/S: I might not have "listened" to their arguments either. Who knows.
 P/P/S: Please correct me if I'm wrong.

24 October 2014

This whole waiting thing, it's shit isn't it?